


When you look at me

by surefinewhateverr



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: AU, F/F, Gay, Get it?, but super gay, lol, soft gay, very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-12-08 09:34:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11643774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surefinewhateverr/pseuds/surefinewhateverr
Summary: AU where Alex Danvers is about to marry Maxwell Lord and has no idea that she is gay or that it is even an option in anyones life, meanwhile her best friend, Maggie Sawyer is secretly in love with her and she is very aware of what being gay is.





	1. You are beautiful

Chapter 1

 

She looked beautiful. She looks as beautiful as ever but she couldn’t tell her. She could. But she won’t. 

“I love the dress.” Maggie tells her. 

She wants to scream. She wants to yell on the top of her lungs that she is beautiful. She looks beautiful, she’s always so beautiful. She wants her to know that she looks amazing in that dress, and that she looks amazing in whatever she wears, cause she does. She really does. 

“Good, cause I think it’s too late to return it.” She laughs.

And that laugh. That laugh is the most beautiful sound. Her smile. Oh, that smile. From the moment she saw her, she knew. She knew it was never going to work, that thing called being straight. She tried, for about a week. Almost threw up when the guy started undressing. He was the sweetest guy, always asked for permission to touch her, to kiss her, to everything. But she couldn’t give him what he was expecting, she couldn’t like him the way he liked her. And when she came out to him to make the break up easier, he understood. But she never heard from him again. 

“I can’t believe I’m getting married.” She smiles looking at herself through the mirror. So beautiful. 

She has to tell her. Her best friend. Her best friend of a little over a year. 

“Max is a very lucky man.” Maggie says sitting down behind her. 

“You don’t think we’re rushing this, right?” Alex asks sitting next to her. “I mean, my mom is pressuring me but I also want this for myself, you know? And I know we’re still in college but… I want to start my life as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Maggie smiles. 

“So… are you bringing anyone to the wedding?” 

“No… I told you, there’s no one…”

“Since we met you haven’t dated anyone, Mags!” Alex puts her hand on Maggie’s thigh. Fuck. “Except that guy that cheated on you after like a week. But that doesn’t even count! You have to get back out there!”

“Alex… just—let’s just focus on your wedding, it’s your day, it has to be perfect, okay?” 

“I… could introduce you to some of Max’s friends… There’s this really cute guy that saw you at the party the other day, he asked about you.”

“Not interested, Alex, I told you.” 

“You don’t even know him—“

“I’m not interested!” Maggie snaps standing up getting as far away from her touch as she can. She can’t control her feelings being so close to her. It’s too much. “Just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean I want to! I’m 20 years old, I still live with my parents, I don’t have enough money to even pay for all my classes—we’re not the same, Alex.”

“I’ve been telling you I could help you, I could—“ Alex stands up too trying to reach for Maggie but she keeps stepping away. 

“I don’t want your help.” Maggie says stepping back. “I’m figuring it out, I told you.”

“Maggie, you don’t even like your parents, you could live with us for a while—“

“No.” She says. She had considered it. But she wouldn’t be able to see Alex and Maxwell being sappy and cute everyday while she longs for Alex’s touch. It’s wrong. 

“Okay, then.” Alex says. “But I don’t want us to fight.”

“We’re not fighting.” Maggie says. 

“I feel like we are.”

“We’re not.” Maggie says now facing the big window, the views from the shop are amazing.

“Are you still coming to the styling meeting with me?” Alex steps closer to Maggie and hugs her from behind, Maggie freezes. Breathes in, holds onto Alex’s arms tight. Closes her eyes. Imagines a life where she and Alex are together, and Alex loves her back. And then she lets go. She turns around causing Alex to pull back from the hug. 

“No, I should—I have to go to work. I’m getting extra shifts now that finals are done.” She says quietly. 

“Oh, okay.” Alex responds looking down on the floor, kind of disappointed. “See you at the rehearsal dinner then?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Maggie walks towards the entrance picking up her bag on the way and looking back to say goodbye.

“Bye.” Alex answers with a sad smile on her face. She turns again to look at the mirror and smiles again, it will be the start of a new, fantastic life. 

Or so she thought.


	2. Not again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie struggles with her feelings and needs

Chapter 2

 

“Maggie we told you we can’t help with the classes. We don’t have enough money for even ourselves this year!” George, Maggie’s dad has never been one to help anyone in general, but he did give his old pick-up truck to Maggie when she was 17, so she was hoping she could get a little loan from him for next semester’s classes. Apparently, she was wrong and she could never expect anything from him. “You’re always asking for money, God help us if you ever get smart enough to save your own!”

“I hope you have fun in that Hawaii trip you have coming up.” Maggie says quietly before turning around to go to her room. She came home late from work but was lucky enough to catch her dad awake and in a good mood, which she thought would be good for her. But no, her dad will never try to help her. And she’s fucked. She has the rest of the summer to come up with enough money for the next semester, but she won’t be able to take the summer classes to finish college earlier.

She’s sitting on her bed when her phone lits up. Rachel. 

“Maggie, you can come over now.” Rachel whispers through the phone. 

“To campus? I’m all the way home.”

“Yeah, but my roommate isn’t here and my boyfriend thinks I got way too drunk and he left me in my bed, and I want you. I think he’s still at the party. Which by the way, why didn’t you go?”

“I had to work—and no, I can’t—“

“Come ooon, Mags I know you want me too, you always do.” Rachel giggles.

“Fine, I’ll be there in 30 minutes.” Already getting up from her bed, Maggie grabs her keys and heads down the stairs. 

“Where are you going?” George asks from the living room. “It’s 1:30am.”

“Lab emergency.” Maggie says opening the front door and closing it behind her. 

She is there in less than 30 minutes, allowing herself to speed a little in the interstate. She’s always doing this. She knows she has to stop. But she has needs. She has needs and when she gets the vibe from a girl from her class or a girl at a party, she can’t help herself but make a move. And all of them give great responses. They all kiss back. They all laugh and nod and kiss her again. She knows she should stop doing this. None of them are ever going to leave their boyfriends. She knows. She knows she’s the mistress. Always. But this thing with Rachel has been going on for months now, and she doesn’t know how to stop. She’s the only one left that she hasn’t let down yet. When they started seeing each other, Maggie was seeing this other girl Sarah, who’s boyfriend moved so she moved with him to another state, and then there was Laura, who only let her go down on her and she never got anything back in return so she broke it off almost immediately. Rachel knew about these other women she was seeing but she kept saying she didn’t care, which bothered her even more. 

“Can I stay tonight?” Maggie asks after catching her breath and cleaning her fingers with the covers.

“I wish you could but my boyfriend will probably come and stay over after the party. He knows my roommate isn’t here.” Rachel’s blonde hair covers almost the entire pillow, so Maggie carefully moves it so she can rest her head on it. Looking up at the ceiling, she feels Rachel move to get on top of her and start kissing her breasts. 

“Don’t do that if I have to go.” She says smiling with her eyes closed, encouraging her to keep going by slowly passing her fingers through her hair. Rachel moans ready for more, when Maggie’s phone starts ringing. She opens her eyes and tries to reach for her pants that are lying on the floor. Rachel won’t let go of her so she stretches as much as she can to pick it up.

“Hello?” 

“Maggie—Maggie I don’t know what I’m doing.” She hears Alex crying through the phone. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

“Relax, hey—relax, breathe, where are you?” She says already getting up and dressed ignoring Rachel’s groans. 

“Ho—home. Max is out with his friends.” 

“Okay, okay, open a bottle of wine, I’ll be there in like fifteen minutes, okay?” She asks but doesn’t get any response. “Do you want me to stay on the line?”

“No—no, drive safely, thank you. I love you.” And at that, she has to hang up. She can’t hear her say I love you one more time. She can’t take it. She’s already dressed putting her leather jacket on, phone in her back pocket, when she turns to look at Rachel. 

“You always do that.” Rachel says laying back down, covering herself with the comforter. 

“Always do what.” She asks now looking for her keys. 

“Leave me as soon as she calls.” 

“You do that to me all the time with your boyfriend.” She says on her knees trying to feel out the floor. 

“That’s different.” And that makes Maggie perk up and look up to her. 

“How is it different?”

“He’s my boyfriend. She’s not…your girlfriend. She’s getting married. To a guy, may I say. I don’t think she even knows you don’t date guys, you should—“

“Okay. Okay, you have to—you have to stop talking. Okay? Right now. Because if you don’t, I will get mad, and this really, really, will be the end of it. Okay?” She says, she sees her keys under the bed and reaches for them before standing up and heading to the door. “And by the way, you’re one to talk. You’re cheating on a guy that is actually worth it. I don’t get it.”

“It’s the Maggie effect I guess.” She says.

“Pssst.” She scoffs. “You’re drunk. Go to bed. Goodnight.” And with that. She leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yallllll i loved the response the first chapter got! yay! I'm really excited about this story, i hope everyone likes it! leave a comment before you go-go! lol


	3. Let's do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is freaking out about the wedding, meanwhile, Maggie is trying to shove her feelings down her throat.

Chapter 3

 

“Alex, it’s me!” Maggie is banging on the front door and she can see Alex in the living room from the door window. She stands up and walks towards the door. She’s still crying.

“Where were you?” She says after opening the door and lounging for a hug. 

“I was at campus, I’m sorry.” She says hugging her back, offering her all of her support. “Let’s go inside.”

She helps Alex sit on the couch and she sees the opened bottle of wine on the dining table. 

“Did you drink the entire bottle?” She asks walking over and picking it up only to find it almost empty. “I’ll be right back.” She goes to the kitchen and finds another one, takes two glasses from the cabinets and comes back to sit with Alex. 

“I don’t know—I don’t know if I should go through with the wedding.” Alex says now feeling more calm. Maggie pours her some wine on one glass and another one for herself. 

“Do you want something stronger?” Maggie laughs referring to the wine.

“No—No, this is just fine for now.”

“Hey.” Maggie says turning to Alex, making her look at her in the eyes. To focus on her. And Maggie wants to die, cause that look, those eyes are the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen, and she would kill anyone that even thought of hurting the owner of those beautiful eyes. “You love him.” She says. 

“I…” Alex closes her eyes and sighs, which makes Maggie curious.

“You…?” She asks encouraging her to continue. 

“I don’t know… I don’t know if I love him, or maybe I love his intelligence.” Alex says taking a sip of the wine. 

“What makes you think that?”

“Okay.” Alex settles, she puts her glass down on the coffee table and turns to face Maggie completely. “Are you okay with some TMI?”

“I’m here for everything you need, Al.” She says also putting down her glass of wine and turning to face Alex. Their legs are crossed and their knees are touching, which Alex doesn’t seem to mind, but for Maggie, god, for Maggie that touch is everything. 

“Earlier—before he went out with his friends, we… you know, we started making out and one thing lead to another…”

“Okay…?” Maggie says wanting her to continue to vent, she just wants her to be happy and if that means having to hear all about how she has boring straight sex, then so be it. 

“Well—I hadn’t noticed this… before, but—it’s like, it’s like he’s… more into it than I am.” 

“How—How do you mean? You—Wait. When—Okay, I’m sorry I’m—“ Maggie says letting a nervous laugh escape her mouth before breathing in. “He’s not raping you, is he?”

“What? No!” Alex says immediately. “No, no, no. No. Oh my god Maggie, no--” 

“Okay, okay. So everything you guys do is consensual.”

“Yes, yes, of course. God, no, he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t do that, no.” She shakes her head. “It’s just that, he’s… much more active, like—okay, this is where the TMI part comes,” And Maggie nods at that preparing herself. “I can’t talk about this with Kara, that’s why—anyway, okay, so, when we do it. He basically—he cums first, and—he knows this, but, I need—I need a little help, and he always helps—he does…”

“But…?” 

“But I don’t know, it’s like I cum easier when I masturbate alone than when I’m actually having sex with him.” She laughs. “I know, it’s stupid, I—“

“It’s not stupid.” Maggie says smiling, without even thinking she reaches to take Alex’s hand, which she regrets immediately and drops it gently. “I get it, you know yourself better than anyone else. Maybe you just need to talk about it with him.”

“I did, I did talk about it with him, but—not much changed, he tries to help me but it’s still—I don’t know, it doesn’t feel natural, and I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life like this.”

“Okay, in my opinion, you have two choices.”

“Uh-huh.” Alex nods. 

“One, you talk about it with him again and see if you can make any changes that work for the both of you, or two, you post-pone the wedding—don’t interrupt me—to give you both time to think this through.” Alex stays silent, now looking at her own hands, her nails, looking weherever but Maggie’s face, so she continues. “You guys are young, you have one more year left of college, and then you’re going to medical school, and he’s going to be this amazing engineer, and there is no hurry, you guys are still growing. Plus, Kara did tell me that she still doesn’t like Max but doesn’t want to tell you.” She laughs. 

“Of course she doesn’t.” Alex says scoffing and looking to the side. Maggie can see tears in her eyes that won’t fall, cause she knows she won’t let herself cry right now, cause she knows her. 

“Look, I can’t decide for you, but I want the best for you, you know that.”

“I know…” Alex says looking down at her hands and reaching for Maggie’s. “I love you, you know that, right?” She pulls her in for a hug and Maggie breathes in her scent. 

“I need to talk to you… about something.” Maggie says before she realizes what she’s about to do. But she has to. She has to tell her. “It’s important.” She pulls back from the hug and looks down.

“What’s up?” Alex asks concerned. 

“Promise me you won’t freak out, okay?” 

“Why would I?” 

“I’m—“ She breathes in and out. She has to do it. It’s now or never. “I’m… sort of seeing—“

“I’m home!” Maxwell suddenly yells closing the front door loudly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dare you all to buy me pizza. 
> 
> hawaiian if possible. (yes, I know, but it's fucking delicious and I won't apologize)


	4. Only the truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After getting interrupted by Max, Maggie needs a little push to open up to Alex... How does Alex react to the confession?

Chapter 4

 

“Alex?” Max asks calling for her fiancée.

Maggie closes her eyes not believing her luck. 

“In the living room!” Alex calls out. Max appears seconds later and Maggie turns to look at him.

“Hi there.” She says forcing a smile. 

“Hey, Maggie.” He says with a smile on his face obviously oblivious to the conversation he just interrupted. “Are you staying here tonight?”

“Um… I don’t kno—“

“Yes, she is.” Alex says interrupting her.

“Good! Cause I got pancakes for breakfast tomorrow. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.” And with that, he leaves. Leaving a very smiley Alex. Which makes Maggie rethink the entire thing. 

“He’s very sweet.” She says.

“Yeah.” Alex says. 

“I mean, I don’t know, Alex--”

“He’s my best friend, I can’t deny that, but… I don’t know…” She says keeping her voice low. “Like, the sex is just whatever—“

“Ugh, Alex you’re killing me--

“I know! I know, I’m sorry, okay?”

“No, no, it’s fine for me, but I don’t—I don’t think this unnecessary stress is any useful.”

“Pfff…” Alex scoffs shaking her head. “I’m sorry, you were telling me something…”

“Yeah, no, it’s—it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. Come on. Open up to me.” She says reaching to hold her hands. “You know I won’t judge.”

“It’s… Please don’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad?” 

“Just promise me?”

“Okay, okay, I promise.”

“Ugh, it’s--okay, the reason why I haven’t dated anyone for like a year—it’s…I’ve been seeing—people.”

“People? Like… drug… dealers?”

“No—no, Alex, God.” She laughs nervously. “Girls.”

“Girls?”

“Yes, girls. I’ve—I’ve been sleeping with girls –lately.“

“But that guy… you—“

“That was… me, trying to be… straight. Because none of the girls I was seeing would ever leave their boyfriend, and I was tired, so, so tired of hiding. I am. Tired. That’s why I’m telling you.”

“So… Earlier—you—you were at campus—“

“Rachel.”

“Adams? From your Women’s studies class? Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?” 

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you.”

“How many?”

“What?”

“How many have you slept with?”

“Alex…”

“No, please, I want to know, it’s like I don’t even know you, Maggie!”

“For fucks sake, Alex, you know me, please, relax, it’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s not that big—“ Alex can’t believe what she’s hearing. She stands up and walks to the front door, she opens it and goes outside. She needs to breathe. 

Maggie follows her and finds her sitting on the swing on the porch. She sits next to her.   
They don’t say a word. The let the reality of the confession that just took place, sink in. Alex reacted way too harshly and she knows it, but Maggie lied to her. Gay? She knew Zac from Astrology class was gay, but that’s about it, she never expected… Maggie. 

“I’m sorry.” Maggie whispers. 

“No, I’m sorry.” Alex says turning to look at Maggie. “But you have to understand—you lied to me, and you’ve been seeing… girls and you haven’t told me, and I feel like—like you-- like you don’t trust me enough, and I don’t want that.”

“I know, I know—“

“No, Maggie, you’re literally the best friend I’ve ever had in my life. Like, I’ve never clicked with anyone better than with you.”

“God, don’t say that.” Maggie says shaking her head about to cry. She really is about to break down, and all because she made Alex upset, and she doesn’t want to live with that, she can’t live with the fact that she made Alex upset. “Please don’t say that.” She lets a tear escape her eye. 

“Say what. Maggie, I just—I just want to… know.”

“You know now, what else do you need to know?” She sniffs. 

“With who? For how long?”

“God why are you so obsessed with that.” Maggie says standing up and starting to pace back and forth on the porch. 

“Because! Just—tell me.”

“I’m not going to tell you who I’ve slept with. I can’t out them, it’s wrong.”

“Okay, fine. And… Rachel?”

“It’s been… going on for months now.” 

“Do you… like her?” Alex asks. And Maggie freezes. Does she like her? Yeah. Does she want to keep sleeping with her? Yes. Does she like her like she likes Alex? No. No way. She can’t lo—like anyone like she likes Alex. 

“Yes. Yes, I do.” She decides to say. Alex stays silent. None of them know what to say. “Please tell me this doesn’t change anything.”

“No—No, of course not.” Alex says looking down at her hands. “Just… maybe for me.” She says standing up and going back inside. 

Maggie follows her inside but stops when she realizes she’s going upstairs to her room, to Max. 

“Wait. What do you mean?” She whispers reaching to hold Alex’s hand to stop her. 

“Just—you know where everything is. We’ll wake you up in the morning at 8.” Alex says pulling her hand back and going up the stairs quietly. 

“Alex…” Maggie tries to call out for her. But she’s gone. She’s gone. 

She’s gone and she shouldn’t have said anything. She shouldn’t have told her. Now she’s sure she just lost the only real friend she had in college. 

She goes to the living room and sets up the couch so she can sleep there comfortably. And what does she hear next?

Alex and Max having sex right above her. 

Great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wellllllllllllll how did that go for you guys


	5. I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex feels awful. Maggie feels awful. None of them know what they're doing.

Chapter 5

 

Maggie wakes up to the loud thunderstorm. She notices the light from the porch is now turned off, which means there probably is no electricity. She checks her phone for the time. Almost 5am. She has to get out of there. She gets up and starts putting the sheets and pillows that she used all folded up. She has to go to work in five hours, maybe she can sleep some more at home. She’s about to open the front door when she hears footsteps behind her. 

“Maggie.” Alex says whispering. 

“I’m sorry, I gotta go.” She says turning to look at her. She’s only wearing a big t-shirt, probably Max’s. She can see her legs. Those legs. God, she can’t do this. 

“Rachel?” Alex asks. 

“No, I just—I gotta go.” She opens the door and closes it behind her. She walks as fast as she can to her car trying to cover her head from the rain. 

She did it. She told her. She really, really told her. She… came out to her. 

She came out to her. 

\--

Alex lies still where Maggie was just an hour ago. On the couch, with her eyes closed, she tries to breathe. She tries not to cry. What is happening to her? Why did she react like that? She opens her eyes and sits up. She can’t let her go home thinking her best friend hates her. She’s her best friend for fucks sake. 

“Sweetie?” Max says half asleep when he notices that Alex is not there. 

“I have to go, I’m sorry, I’ll call you later, sleep.” She says kissing the top of his head. 

“Bu—pancakes.” 

“Tomorrow.” And she’s gone. 

\--

What if she just wants to be alone? God, it’s too early for this, she can see the sun already creeping up through all the clouds and rain. She tries to call Maggie. No answer. She drives to her house, tries calling her again. No answer. Her car is parked at front. Her light is off, but she’s there. She’s there. And she’s awake. She knows she is. 

She decides to text her. 

“I’m outside.” She says. She sees that Maggie has read it. Five minutes pass on very slowly. Still no answer. 

“Please, come out, or let me in.” She texts again. She reads it. 

And then, the front door opens. Alex moves fast, gets out of the car and runs to the porch getting inside the house as quietly as possible. They go upstairs to Maggie’s room. Alex turns on the light and closes the door behind her. Maggie, now wearing nothing more than sweatpants and a lose tshirt sits on her bed facing the window. Alex hears her sniff. She sits on the other side of the bed, facing the door, giving her the space she quietly asked for. Being there with her. Because that’s what they do. They are there for each other. She keeps hearing Maggie sniff. She hears her move, probably to dry the tears from her face. 

“It was fucked up.” Alex says still facing her side, looking down at her hands. “The way I reacted, I’m—I’m sorry.” She hears Maggie breathe loudly. She knows she’s not going to talk. Not after the way she reacted. “I’m sorry I reacted that way, I—I don’t know why I—I don’t know. Honestly—I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either.” Maggie says. “But I do know that, yes, it was fucked up.” 

“Are you happy?” She asks still looking down at her hands. She feels Maggie move and she takes it as a cue to turn around. And yes, as she expected, Maggie is looking at her with very red eyes, she’s never seen her this sad. She wants someone to stab her repeatedly. She did this to her. 

“Rachel won’t tell her boyfriend about me.” Maggie says. She moves and sits up covering herself with the comforter, inviting Alex to sit next to her, which she does immediately. “I didn’t expect her to—months ago, it was—it was nothing, I was seeing other people, I—I didn’t care. But now, I told her that she’s the only one I’m seeing and—and she still won’t break up with her fucking—Josh—fucking Mulligan—stupid—fucking boyfriend.” She says sniffing some more, cleaning her face with the covers. 

And Alex can’t stop staring at her. At the way her face moves, the way her lips look like they’re smiling when she’s annoyed about something. The way her eyes get as greener than ever when she cries. The way she holds onto the covers, then the small pillow that was next to her, then her own legs. And now, she’s looking at Alex. And Alex snaps out of it. 

“You—you could talk to her.” Alex says waiting for Maggie to look at her in the eyes to smile. “Aaaah, see what I did there?” She lets a small laugh escape her mouth.

“Okay, ha-ha, very funny, Danvers.” Maggie says smiling. “I’ll make sure to not give you any more advice—ever, from now on. Lesson learned.” She says using her fingers to dry her eyes. 

“No, Mags, you give the best advice in town, I promise.” Alex says gently bumping her own shoulder against Maggie’s. “What does Rachel have anyway? Isn’t she a republican?” 

“Wow, Alex—“ Maggie laughs out loud, making Alex smile too. “No, she’s not a republican.” She answers in between soft laughs. “I don’t know, she’s—she’s great, we have fun. What have you heard?

“Apart from the fact that she’s a republican?” Alex asks with a smirk on her face. “Let me think… I don’t know her that well but from what I’ve seen… Her boyfriend is very dreamy and all but… captain of the soccer team?”

“Yeah.” Maggie scoffs. “How can I compete with that.” She says. “I think he got accepted for an internship at fucking Google.”

“Wow.” Alex says. 

“Yeah.”

“Hey, whatever, you know?” Alex says shrugging. 

“No, it’s not whatever… I like her.” Maggie says with an annoyed tone on her voice.

“Okay, then...” Alex says letting silence do all the talking. She lets some minutes go by getting lost in each others thoughts before talking again. “Hey, I don’t know about you, but I’m going to sleep a little.” She lies fully inside the covers, takes off her bra and throw is on the floor next to her, she then turns and looks at Maggie who has done the same thing and is looking at her too. Except her eyes close almost immediately. 

“Goodnight.” Maggie whispers. 

“Love you.” Alex says before closing her eyes also.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fast update cause i feel like this should have been part of chapter 4... i dont know..


	6. And I wonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie thinks Alex might be homophobic and doesn't know whether to trust her with her secrets anymore. Alex on the other hand is... jealous? Except, she doesn't know she's jealous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Masturbation at the end of this chapter. If you're not into that, you can skip to the last line.

Chapter 6

 

“How was the sex?” Maggie whispers. They’re both lying inside the covers, still, they’ve slept for three hours straight and they both woke up to Alex’s phone ring tone. It was Max. And now, they have to wait for Maggie’s parents to leave to work so they can come out, because, from experience, they know how much her parents hate having guests over without consulting them first. 

“What?” Alex asks turning her head to look at Maggie, who is looking at the ceiling. 

“With Max. Last night.” 

“You heard us?” Alex says closing her eyes, putting a hand on her forehead in desperation. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay, was just asking because.. you know—“

“Yeah, yeah, of course, um—“ 

“It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Thank you.” Alex says. Because she’s confused. She’s confused and she doesn’t know how to put it into words. 

“The sex with Rachel is really good.” Maggie says continuing the conversation. 

“Okay…” Does she want to hear about this? She can’t stop her now. She told her they could talk about anything. Sex included. She talked to her about sex with Max the night before. It’s her turn. It’s only fair.

“—Like it was good with… this other one before Rachel but, I mean, Rachel…” Maggie smiles. “She’s gooood good, you know? Like—she knows what she wants and she takes it, and when—“

“Okay.” Alex says turning completely relying on her elbow to look at Maggie. “I don’t know if I want you to get into detail there.” 

“Oh…okay, sorry.” Maggie says. She sighs and sits up. “Um…I have to go to work so…”

“Maggie.” Alex says also sitting up reaching to touch Maggie’s shoulder. 

“I have to go. You know where the keys are, lock the door when you leave?” Maggie says already up and getting her uniform and heading to the bathroom. 

“Maggie, please, I’m sorry…” Alex tries to say before she goes. She doesn’t wait long for Maggie to come back to put her shoes on. “Maggie, please.”

“No, Alex. Stop.” She says putting her hands on her hips. “You said you were fine with it, and you’re clearly not. I won’t talk about it anymore, don’t worry about it.”

“No, Maggie. That’s not it.” Alex says. “I don’t—I don’t know if—I don’t like Rachel, okay?” She says. 

“What?” Maggie says before sighing and sitting down on the floor to put her sneakers on. “Look, whatever, I have to go.” 

And before Alex can say anything else, Maggie leaves and closes the door behind her. Alex can’t do anything else other than wait in her bed. She’s thinking of just taking a mental health day and spend it here, in Maggie’s room. What’s wrong with her? Why can’t she just—act normal? And why did she get so defensive when Maggie asked about how was the sex with Max? It wasn’t great but it also wasn’t… bad. Okay, maybe it was bad. But why? Something had changed. Something had changed and she doesn’t know what. 

Her phone starts ringing. 

“Why the fuck don’t you like her, Danvers?” She hears Maggie over the phone, she also hears traffic, she’s driving. “You said it yourself, you don’t even know her!”

“Look, Maggie, I don’t know, okay?” 

“I know you don’t know. You don’t know anything. It’s all you’ve been saying since yesterday. I can’t—“

“Maggie, she’s—she’s just too—I don’t know! I just don’t like her, okay?”

“That’s not an explanation.”

“I know—I know it’s not—“

“Did she flirt with Max or something?”

“What?”

“That’s the only thing I can think of for you to not like her.”

“What? No! I mean—I fucking hope so, but, like—what is she even?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, is she gay?”

“She’s bi. She doesn’t want to come out—which reminds me, please, don’t tell anyone.”

“No, no, of course not, I just—isn’t that fucked up, though? What she’s doing?”

“Well, yeah, it is fucked up.”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I gotta go. Talk to you later.” Maggie says before hanging up. 

Alex lies on the bed, looks at her phone. It’s still early. She could sleep some more. She gets inside the covers and closes her eyes. But she closes her eyes and she sees her. She sees Maggie. She sees Maggie smiling at her. She sees Maggie looking at her in the eyes. As if she was right there with her. Is she missing her? She left no more than twenty minutes ago. But then, her mind goes other places. Gay, she thinks. Gay means being sexually attracted to the same gender. Maggie. Maggie with Rachel. Maggie with another girl. Maggie…with her. Her… with Maggie. 

So she can’t stop herself. Her hands wander. She touches herself. She shamelessly touches herself thinking about Maggie. No one can read her mind. No one can interrupt her. She touches herself and she thinks of herself and Maggie, together, caressing each other in bed. She thinks about how Maggie would feel inside her. She thinks about how Maggie would cum in her own hands. And she cums. 

She opens her eyes. Hand still touching south. She pulls her hand back. She breathes. And breathes. And breathes. In. Out. In. Out. 

Yes, that just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> weeeeeeeeeeeee if you wanna read more just re read the entire thing cause i know the timeline in the story is going very slow but i feel like it's necessary at the moment. feedback is always welcome


	7. I can't do it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie is very gay as per usual and Alex wants to postpone the wedding because she is freaking out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning (Reminder): This is a Mature Rated story.

Chapter 7

 

“When do you get off work?” Maggie reads the text over and over. Rachel wants her. And honestly, she wants her too. But they were together last night. They’ve never hooked up two days in a row. 

“Are you going to leave your boyfriend?” She asks. 

“Depends.”

“On what.”

“On how many times you make me cum today.” Maggie blushes at the response. The booth at the theater always gets hot after a while but, not this hot. She turns to open the window a little bit and gets back into her seat. 

“You nasty woman.” She texts back.

“You know it.”

“I’m off in two hours.”

“I’ll be waiting.” 

Maggie puts her phone back in her pocket. Now anxious to go to campus. 

\--

Alex hangs up the phone. She told Kara. She told Kara she’s not sure if she should go through with the wedding. And Kara, as always, supported her. Her high school graduation is the next day and she only wants her to be there and be happy, even if she doesn’t bring Max. Max. She has to tell Max. Fuck. 

She dials his phone.

“Hi sweetie!” He says. “I’m in the lab today with Freddy and Joanne, do you wanna come?”

“No, no… That’s okay, I’m—I’m spending the day with Maggie anyway…”

“Oh, okay, it’s okay—“

“Hey, can we talk?” She gets up from the bed and starts pacing the room. 

“Yeah sure, sure, wait a second—“ He says. She hears the sound of a door closing. “Okay, what’s up.”

“I—I need to postpone the wedding.” She says before clearing her throat.

“Wha—why? Something happened?”

“No—No, I mean, well, yeah—it’s—“ Alex tries to clear her thoughts. She breathes in and breathes out. “It’s Kara.” She chooses to say. 

“What happened?”

“She—Well, her graduation—it’s tomorrow, and—and she feels like—like this is her moment,you know? And it’s true! It is her moment, and with the wedding being only a couple weeks away—she’s nervous about moving—here, because she’s coming to college—and—and her friends are all going to different colleges so—“

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Max says. “Relax, breathe. It’s okay. I’ll talk to Mark and Emily and see what they can arrange. Do you think next month is good? They may ask for money, though.”

“Yeah—yeah of course. Yes, that’s okay..”

“Okay… I’ll call them now, I’ll text you any updates.”

“Perfect. Thank you.”

“You know I love you sweetie.” 

“Yeah, love you too, bye.” She hangs up. 

Okay. Okay. She has one month. Less than a month, really. Okay. Why does she feel so relieved?

\--

“I told you I’m not seeing anybody else.” Maggie says. They’re both lying inside the covers, naked, touching each other. Not really doing anything. Just, making out, talking, breathing the same air. 

“So…?” Rachel says with a smile on her face, oblivious. 

“So…I want you to break up with your boyfriend.”

“I told you… Maggie… My parents would kill me, I—“

“My parents would kill me too!”

“No, Maggie, you don’t get it.” Rachel says putting a strand of Maggie’s hair behind her ear. “They would literally disown me. They love Beltran.”

“Okay—I – I get it. But… I just—want to know…”

“I like you more than I like him.” Rachel whispers getting closer to Maggie. She puts her hand on her hip and caresses her skin slowly. “I—I really like you, Maggie.”

“I like you too, Rach.” She says smiling, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “I just…I want to go on dates with you, you know? Like—this is fine. It’s whatever, but—I want to go to the movies, or eat lunch or—“

“We eat lunch.”

“Yeah, with your…boyfriend. That’s not—I don’t like that.”

“I do it on purpose.” Rachel says suddenly surprising Maggie. 

“What?”

“I get touchy with Beltran when you’re there just to make you jealous.” She chuckles. “It works. Cause then you get all—cute and… possessive.” She says. 

“Ooh…You want possesive?” Maggie dares her getting on top of her, moving her head so all her hair is on one side. 

“And cute.” Rachel laughs. 

“Fine.” Maggie says getting on her forearms to kiss her. “You want cute and possessive? I’ll give you cute and possessive.” 

And she does. And it’s hot. It’s hot for her. And it’s hot for Rachel. They laugh. They touch. They kiss. But Maggie can’t help herself but think about Alex when she’s about to cum. Her legs from last night. Alex in that big t-shirt. How small she looked. How…hot. 

When they’re done. Maggie sits up on the bed already reaching for her clothes. 

“We could go eat something?” Rachel proposes. 

“Sure.” Maggie says putting on her jeans. “Where is your so beloved boyfriend?”

“At this game—I don’t know, I wasn’t really listening, honestly.” Rachel laughs also reaching for her clothes. 

They head out to the foodcourt of the campus, there are not many people there, it’s late for lunch and everyone is on summer break, but Maggie spots someone waving at her. 

“Hey Maggie!” Max says when he’s closer. He looks at Rachel and turns back to Maggie, confused. “Where’s Alex?”

“Oh—um, I don’t—know, I thought she would be with you?” Maggie says. 

“Can we talk?” Maxwell asks her eyeing on Rachel. Rachel picks up on the hint and nods. 

“Um… yeah, you—you guys talk I’ll just get my food and sit over..there.” And she goes. 

“What’s up?” Maggie asks curious. 

“Are you gay?” Max says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all your comments so much. you guys are being way too nice to me D: i love yall and im glad everyone is enjoying the story! (Next chapter will be uploaded later today probably so no worries)


	8. Busted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maggie comes out to max and pours her heart out to Rachel. Alex on the other hand...is confused. Really confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I actually want everyone in this story to be happy! I believe everyone deserves a happy ending.

Chapter 8

“Am I—Am I—“

“Gay. Yes. Are you?”

“Why do you say that?” Maggie chuckles nervously looking at Rachel who’s now sitting alone at a table. 

“Well, Alex just lied to me I don’t know why and she wants to postpone the wedding and one of my friends from the lab just came out to me out of the blue, so I’m asking you—if you’re gay, because you haven’t dated anyone in quite a while just like my friend from the lab and also because I think you like my fiance?” Maxwell says. He looks nervous. He even may be shaking. Is he scared? 

“Max—that’s—that’s crazy. Okay?”

“No, no it’s not crazy, Maggie.” He says. “And I would really appreciate it if you were honest with me. You’re Alex’s maid of honor.”

“Look…” Maggie sighs looking down. She can tell him. She told Alex. It’s only fair. “Okay, yes, I’m gay. I love women. I love women and I can’t fucking help it, okay? But I don’t—like Alex. I swear—I promise you, I don’t.”

“Fine, I—“

“I’m actually with her.” She says interrupting him pointing at Rachel, who is very focused on her cheeseburger. 

“Oh. Okay.” He says now more convinced. “Okay. Thanks for your honesty.”

“You’re welcome.” She says smiling nervously. Max is turning around when he suddenly stops himself.

“You don’t know where Alex is?”

“Um… No, she could—she could be at my house though.”

“Okay, thanks.” He turns and leaves to go back to his friends.

Maggie walks fast and sits next to Rachel. 

“Okay, so I think I just came out to Alex’s fiance.” She says rapidly. Her heart still beating harder and faster than ever. 

“What?” Rachel says with a mouthful of burger.

“Yeah, and please don’t freak the fuck out on me like you sometimes do, but I also told him I—I was with you—I am with you—” She cringes waiting for her reaction.

“You did what?!” She yells, then lowering her voice. “Why the fuck would you do that, Maggie?”

“He’s a nerd, he doesn’t know you! Or your stupid boyfriend!” She defends herself. “Plus, it just…came out.”

“What the fuck, Maggie? Now you’re outing me with you? Come on...” She stands up leaving her food on the table and starts walking towards the dorms. Maggie gets up from the table and follows her. 

“Hey, I’m sorry, okay? But you know we could both be together, out, happy, making out—“

“Is that all you care about, Maggie?” Rachel stops to turn to Maggie. “Making out?”

“No! Of course not—“ Or maybe yes. Because she needs physical attention. “But honey—“

“Don’t honey me—“

“Rach, I—I want to be happy, okay?” She says getting serious. She feels the tears coming, but she won’t let them fall. They’re in the middle of campus, surrounded by trees. Not a soul around them. They are out, interacting like… girlfriends. “I’ve been hiding—for most of my life. I’ve been hiding—scared of the fact that I was alone. But I’m not. And I know I’m not. But everyone—everyone I fucking choose to fall for… are either ashamed of me or—or have a fucking boyfriend. And I’m tired. Okay? I’m done. I’m done with all of this. If you don’t want me as your girlfriend? If you don’t want to go on dates with me or—or let me buy you that fucking chocolate that you like? I’m done. Rachel, I’m done.” She has tears in her eyes. She maybe let a couple fall from her eyes, but that’s it. She’s breathing hard. Her heart is about to pop out of her chest. She doesn’t know what to do other than stare at Rachel’s eyes. Looking at how she’s processing all of this. And the next thing she knows, Rachel is kissing her. Rachel is kissing her in public. So she kisses back. She holds her by her waist while Rachel holds her by her neck. She feels Rachel sniff. She’s crying. She pulls back. She looks at her in the eyes. Smiles. She hugs her. She hugs her tight. 

“I’m gonna break up with him. Right now. Over the phone.” Rachel says against her hair. “We need rules, though.” She says pulling back. 

“Of course.” Maggie nods. “I’ll start. If we’re out in public, PDA is only allowed in closed places—my parents like to roam over the city.” She laughs. 

“Okay… I wanted to say—Rule number one: you have to give me a kiss every time I ask you to. Not like in bed.” She says causing Maggie to laugh harder. 

“Deal.” 

“Deal.” Rachel smiles giving Maggie another quick kiss.   
\--

Where is Maggie? She thought she had a short shift today, but she’s still not home and she doesn’t know what to do with herself. She thinks. She thinks hard. She thinks because Maggie, the thought of Maggie, made her cum faster and harder than ever. But why. Why now? Was it because Maggie told her that she’s gay? Does she have a gay fetish? No. That’s wrong. That can’t be it. No. No way. But Maggie… yes, she’s beautiful. She has always known that she was beautiful, of course, that’s one of the main reasons why she was so curious that Maggie wasn’t dating anyone. It now made sense. And Rachel. God Rachel. She knew they always had lunch together when Alex was stuck at the lab. She should have seen this coming. Why Rachel anyway? 

Her phone rings.

“Hey sweetie.” Max says over the phone.

“Hi!” She says nervous. Is she having a panic attack?

“So… Maggie is here and you’re not…” Max begins to say. “Now, I don’t want to make any assumptions but—because I really hope you’re not cheating on me or anything but—why did you lie to me?”

“I’m—I’m sorry. I’m actually on my way to—to my parent’s house, to—to go see Kara.”

“Oh—no, okay, that’s fine. Should have just told me that, instead of telling me—instead of lying to me.”

“I’m sorry, Max. I am.”

“It’s okay, it’s okay, don’t worry about it…Just don’t—don’t lie to me? I’m about to be your husband and—“

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” She says taking a deep breath.

“Okay, talk to you later. Dinner tonight?”

“Yeah, yes, of course.” She says.

“Okay.” And she hangs up. 

She heads downstairs. Makes herself some toast, and heads out locking the door with the key hidden under the welcome mat. 

She drives. She drives and ends up in front of the movies. She parks her car. She needs a break. How did she not think of the movies? She loves going to the movies alone. It gives her perspective, lets her think, gives her the space she needs to think clearly. So she goes in. 

\--

“The movies?” Maggie groans. 

“Yeah! Why not? You have a car, you have a discount, let’s go.”

“It’s only like 5pm! Who goes to the movies this early?”

“Us. So we can kiss in public.” Rachel smirks and Maggie is convinced. 

\--

 

They’re walking out of the theater holding hands and Maggie can’t stop herself from smiling. They’re at the entrance of the theater when Rachel pulls Maggie into a kiss. Maggie smiles against the kiss and pulls back slightly. Looking into Rachel’s eyes. 

“You’d think you’ve done this before.” She says. 

“Kissing my partner out in public?” She says shrugging and going in for another kiss. Maggie doesn’t close her eyes completely and from the corner of her eye she catches someone who looks exactly like Alex, so she can’t help herself but call out of her. 

“Alex!” She shouts in her direction. Alex turns and gives her a surprised expression when she sees her and Rachel. She walks over to them. 

“Hey Maggie.” She says pulling her in for a quick hug. “Didn’t see you there.” She smiles. 

“Yeah! Hey,” Maggie says linking her arm with Rachel’s. “This is Rachel.”

“Oh, hi.” Alex extends her arm to shake hands with her. 

“Alex, right?” Rachel asks. 

“Yeah, that’s me.” Alex says cringing a little. 

“Well, we were heading out to grab something to eat—“ Maggie starts saying.

“Oh, I’m actually—I have to go home, graduation is tomorrow.” 

“You’re graduating?” Rachel asks. 

“Oh no, it’s—it’s my little sister’s high school graduation.” Alex smiles proudly. “Yeah, so—so I’ll see you?” She asks.

“Yeah, yeah.” Maggie says confused at the way Alex is acting. “I’ll call you.” 

Alex waves them goodbye and they start walking to the nearest restaurant. 

“She’s nice. I get it.” Rachel says. And it takes Maggie a while to respond. 

“Yeah—Yeah she is.” She says looking down. 

What just happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a long(ish) chapter oh my god! i think i deserve a congratulations or smth i dont know.. lol glad everyone is enjoying the story. more to come soon. stay tuned. 
> 
> comment and discuss


	9. Let's party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's graduation day! And drama day! Alex has to tell her mom about postponing the wedding...

Chapter 9

 

“You saw us.” Maggie says. 

They’re in Alex and Max’s bedroom. Alex is changing for Kara’s graduation and Alex is moving around the room too fast. 

“Yesterday you saw us and you didn’t want to say hi because “you don’t like Rachel.”” Maggie continues. 

“Yes, Maggie, whatever, I saw you guys and I didn’t want to bother you, what’s the problem?” Alex says taking off her tshirt facing the closet and putting on a strapless bra. And Maggie forces herself to look away. 

“The problem is—The problem is I want you to be okay with this.” 

When Alex is done adjusting the bra, she turns around to face Maggie so Maggie looks back at her. 

“Look Maggie, I’m okay with this, okay? Now, are you coming to the graduation or are you gonna bail on me like Max did.” 

“I’m already dressed! I just want you to—” Maggie answers. 

“You’re going in jeans?” Alex asks. 

“You know me. I don’t do dresses, I’m sorry—“ Alex puts her pants down and gets in the dress that was laying on the bed. And Maggie has to keep rambling and looking anywhere else other than…Alex. Because she’s hot. Alex is hot and—she’s hot. “ So jeans will have to do, plus I have this perfect blazer that makes me look—good. I think I look good. And Kara won’t mind anyway.”

“Fine. Zip this.” Alex says turning around approaching Maggie so she can zip her dress. Her tight, short dress. Maggie does as she’s told, breathing in Alex’s perfume. Alex turns around to face Maggie. They’re standing way too close. 

“Look, Mags, I’m—I’m truly sorry I’m acting this weird, okay?”

“No, I get it…” Maggie says looking down. “You’ve said sorry more times in these past two days than I’ve ever heard you say.”

“Hey.” Alex says lifting Maggie’s chin up. Taking a quick glance at her lips not being able to stop herself. “Today is going to be fun. Kara is going to drink for the first time—“

“She’s 18, Al.”

“So what?” She asks laughing. “I had my first drink at my graduation.”

“Can’t imagine you… being a bad teenager.” Maggie says. Being a little shorter than her, she can’t help herself but stare at her eyes, her lips, her smile. 

“Okay, it wasn’t even that long ago, don’t call me old.” Alex smiles. They stare at each other for a moment. For a long moment. 

Until they both realize what they’re doing.

\--

 

“Kara!” Alex calls out for her, and she comes running to hug her. 

“Hi!” She says excited taking off her cap so she can give out more hugs to everyone.

“Congrats, dude!” Maggie says reaching for a hug too. 

“Thank you, Maggie!” She says. 

“Where do you wanna go celebrate, sweetie?” Eliza asks excited. 

“Shorty’s!” She says but immediately gets distracted for a moment. “Wait, I have to say bye to Lena, I think we’re going to be roommates.”

“In our college?” Alex asks curious.

“Yes! The only one who got accepted apart from me.” She says before running towards the brunette. They are all left with smiles in their faces. 

“Hey, Alexandra, what happened to Max?” Eliza asks turning to Alex. 

“Oh, there was a small fire at the lab he was working at and the principal had to interrogate him or… whatever—I don’t know, really.” She chuckles. 

“That’s a shame. He loves Kara.” Eliza says. 

“Yeah! That’s why he got her a present.” Alex says showing her mom the small blue wrapped box she’s holding. 

\--

“Mom, Max and I decided to postpone the wedding.” Alex says when Kara is in the bathroom. Maggie, Eliza and her are sitting in the booth of Shorty’s, having just ordered their food. 

“Why would you do that?” Eliza asks trying to stay calm.

“Well, it wasn’t just a—a spur of the moment decision—we agreed to move it to next month, it’s no big deal—“

“Alexandra, I’m paying for half of this wedding, now I’m going to have to pay for another location?” 

“No—No, mom, actually Mark and Emily found a way to stay in the same location, only the time would be different.” She says breathing in and breathing out. She reaches for Maggie’s hand under the table, Maggie looks at Alex and holds her hand with a nod. 

“I personally think that you’re panicking, and I get it, I totally get it, I was like that too when I married—When I married your father. But look how… great it turned out.”

“Mom, I’m still marrying him. Just—Just a little later. We have our entire lives—“

“No, you don’t.”

“Yes, we do.” Alex fights back. 

“Alexandra if this wedding gets canceled I won’t pay for anything like this anymore. Don’t disappoint me, huh?” Eliza says. And before Alex can say anything. Kara comes back with a smile on her face. 

“Guys, there are reeeally cute drawings on the toilet paper here.” She laughs sitting down next to Eliza. And Maggie tries to laugh with her. She tries to engage into conversation with her. Because Alex and Eliza are acting cold from the unfinished fight and probably will stay like that for the rest of the evening. 

\--

“What’s wrong with them?” Kara asks Maggie when they’re on their way to the cars. Eliza and Alex wanted to “pay the check separately” and urged them to wait by the cars. “Did Alex tell Eliza about the wedding?”

“Yeah…” Maggie says. “Hey who’s that girl that is coming to college with you?”

“Oh Lena? She’s super smart. She won like three awards for best idea, best execution, and best something and that was only in junior year.”

“Impressive.” Maggie says. 

“Yeah, and she’s actually the one that offered me to be roommates, we hadn’t talked at all, ever, not that anyone really talked to me in high school, but she was really nice about it, too.”

“Then…I guess I’ll have to meet her.” She says smiling convinced that Kara’s first girl crush was going to be fun to explore next semester. “Do you have any graduation parties to attend to?” 

“Oh, no… But I mean, it’s okay. I’m done with high school, that’s what matters.” She smiles. And Maggie sees the sadness in her eyes. She never got invited to a party. 

“Okay. I’ll tell you what. Let’s go to a bar.” Maggie proposes. “They never card me and… you’re hot so they will let you in—you have to takeoff the cap and gown though.”

“Are you serious?” Kara asks smiling, reaching for a hug. “Oh my god this is going to be so much fun!” 

“What’s going to be so much fun?” Eliza asks walking over. Alex is some steps behind. 

“Kara, if you give us permission, wants to see what college is like at night.” Maggie says. 

“Oh.” Alex says when she gets closer. “And I’m guessing I’m driving?” 

“Of course, Al.” Maggie chuckles. 

“Okay, sweetie,” Eliza says pulling Kara in for a sweet kiss on the cheek. “Have fun and be careful.”

“Done.” She smiles. 

Eliza turns to walk to her car waving goodbye to Maggie. 

“You okay?” Maggie whispers to Alex. And she just nods. She’s not okay. She’s never okay after spending time with her mom. 

Kara is already by the passenger door waiting for Alex to unlock it. And she does. She gets in and motions them to hurry up. 

“What bar do you want to go to Kara?” Maggie asks once settled in the passenger seat.

“Wait, a bar?” Alex asks. 

“Yeah! Why not? Let’s give her a good graduation present.”

“Oh! I forgot—“ Alex says reaching for her purse next to Kara and taking the small blue box from before. “It’s from Max.”

“Okay…” Kara takes it and starts unwrapping it. 

“I have no idea what it is.” Alex says. 

Kara gets rid of all the wrapping paper and opens the small box. It’s a pin. But not any pin. It’s a Superman pin. So she starts laughing. She starts laughing so hard it makes Alex and Maggie more curious. 

“What is it?” Alex asks. And Kara just shows them. Alex starts laughing too. But Maggie doesn’t get it. What’s wrong with it? She takes it from Kara’s hands and starts examining it. Nothing wrong with it. 

“He doesn’t know, does he?” Kara asks with tears in her eyes. 

“No—No he doesn’t, I swear.” Alex says still laughing. 

“Guys you gotta fill me in, cause I find this very cute—not—not funny.” She chuckles.

Alex breathes, trying to stop her laugh, and looks at Kara, asking for permission. And Kara just nods, because she trusts Maggie. She loves Maggie. And she knows she’s there to stay. She’s part of the family.

“Um…” Alex starts sighing, trying to relax from all the laughter. “Kara—Kara is actually Superman’s cousin.” Maggie smiles with an open mouth, looking at Kara and then at Alex, and then back at Kara and then back at Alex.

“You’re joking, right.” She says. 

“Nope.” Kara says suddenly levitating off of her seat to prove her point. 

“And you said I was the one keeping secrets?” Maggie says turning to Alex who already turned on the ignition and put on her seatbelt. 

“That’s different and you know it.” 

“Yeah, exactly, this is even bigger.”

“Wait—what’s your secret?” Kara asks. 

“Kara don’t—“ Alex begins to say.

“I’m gay.” Maggie answers as fast as she can. 

“Oh my god! That’s great! Are you dating anyone?” She asks with a smirk on her face. “I want details.” 

“Yeah, actually, you could meet her right now, if we go to—“

“No.” Alex says. “We’re not going anywhere other than a dirty bar.” She gets the car out of the parking lot. 

“Okay party pooper…” Kara says crossing her arms in the backseat. 

“Why not?” Maggie says keeping her voice low. 

“Because! I—I don’t want Kara near college yet. Let’s go out to drink.”

“But alcohol won’t even affect her—“

“It’s for me, at this point.” Alex says turning on the radio to avoid any kind of conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooooooooooo i love you all so much lmao i love your comments and whats that about jealous alex? do you eat that? 
> 
> lol more to come soon i promisee (also yay! a longish chapter)


	10. Look before you jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex doesn't look before she jumps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty big chapter.... not in terms of length but.... content.

Chapter 10

 

“Okay, Kara doesn’t drive.” Alex says. 

“She flies.” Maggie answers laughing. 

“So what’s the plan here.” Alex asks. 

They’re sitting at a bar, Alex in the middle, ordering rounds for the three of them. 

“I can drive you guys home.” Kara says confident. She’s had the same drinks as them but is, not surprisingly, still sober. 

“You don’t have your license.” Alex answers. 

“I know, but I know how to drive, and we’re not far from your and Max’s home.” 

And Alex groans at Max’s name. She stands up and heads to the bathroom without a word. Maggie follows her stumbling on the stool next to her. 

“Hey.” Maggie says knocking on the stall door where she supposes Alex is. 

“Occupied.” She hears Alex say, crying. She takes that as a cue to go in. 

“What’s wrong?” She asks when she spots Alex on the floor. 

“It’s me. It’s—It’s myself.” She says, Maggie kneels in front of her. “I don’t want to get married anymore.”

“Why?” Maggie asks. 

“Because! I don’t want to! I don’t! I just—“

“Okay, okay.” Maggie says sitting next to her, hugging her. “It’s okay. You can just—you can just cancel the wedding, it’s okay.” But Alex is not okay. She is crying.

“We’ve been together since high school, Mags.” She says. 

“I know… I know.”

“He’s so sweet to me, and—he wouldn’t kill a fly—I just—“ She looks up at Maggie who’s kissing her head in support. She’s kissing her head, she’s hugging her, and they are sitting on the bathroom floor of a very dirty bar. “I—I need you to kiss me.” She says. 

“Alex—“ This can’t be happening. Not right now. She just got Rachel to dump her boyfriend. No. This cannot be happening. 

“Please.” She cries. 

“No.” She forces herself to say standing up from the floor. “No.” She shakes her head. “Stand up.” She tell her. 

“Why?” Alex asks. 

“Stand up, please.” She takes Alex’s hands and helps her up. They’re close. The stall being so small, it’s going against all Maggie’s wishes and at the same time she’s so grateful they’re so close. “I can’t kiss you.”

“Why not.” Alex asks sniffing. Drying her eyes with her hands. 

“You’re with Max. I’m with Rachel.”

“No one has to know, Mags.” Alex says letting more tears fall. 

“No, Alex. You’re not thinking straight—“

“Duh…” She says. 

“No. Seriously, look at me.” Maggie says. “It’s bad timing.”

“You don’t want to kiss me because of… bad timing?” Alex asks repulsed. 

“Yes! I believe kissing is cheating.”

“It’s just a kiss!”

“Why do you want to kiss me anyway? To explore your sexuality?” Maggie says getting angrier by the second. “I’ve had plenty of those, Al, and they’re fun at the beginning but then I’m the one that gets hurt. I’m always the one that gets hurt. You have Max, you have a wedding in less than a month. I have nothing. You can’t do this to me. I’m finally with someone, so no, now is not the moment to be asking for kisses. No.” She says. 

“Break up with her.” Alex says. 

“Okay.” Maggie nods letting a chuckle escape from her mouth. “Now you’re just either delusional or the alcohol just kicked in and you’re plain drunk.”

“I’m serious.” Alex says. “I will break up with Max.” Maggie stays silent. She looks at Alex deep into her eyes, looking for some form of hesitation in them. She’s serious. 

“You’re not going to fuck up your life for something that is not even—Alex—let’s just—go, let’s go.” She says shaking her head, looking down at her feet, and opening the stall door to get out. She feels Alex’s hand reaching for hers. She turns to face her again. “Let’s talk about this tomorrow.” She pulls her hand back and goes back outside to the bar, where she hears cheers and a man yelling… of pain?

“Kara!” She yells when she spots the 18 year old covering her mouth with both hands looking down at a man that is lying on the floor. 

“He just wouldn’t go away! I pushed him! I just—“ Maggie grabs her arm quickly leading them out of the bar. “Alex we gotta go!” She shouts towards the bathrooms. 

They run for about two blocks and they stop at a corner in front of a bank, and Kara starts laughing. And her laugh is so contagious that Maggie laughs with her.   
But then, Kara stops laughing very suddenly. And Maggie stops too.

“Alex.” Kara says before running back towards the bar. Maggie tries to run as fast as she can following her. 

When they enter the bar again, they find Alex on top of the man that harrassed Kara. While Kara doesn’t know what to do, Maggie quickly pushes everyone that is forming the circle around the fight and pulls Alex back to get her off of him. 

“What the hell, Alex?!” She shouts grabbing her by the waist, stopping her from going back in. “We gotta go!” She turns them both around and they head out of the bar. They hear police sirens approaching. They really gotta go. Kara doesn’t think twice. She grabs them both and flies them in a quick, fast jump to the rooftop. They can’t be seen from there. Kara drops them both as gently as possible.

“Alex what the fuck?” Maggie shouts pushing Alex by the shoulders as soon as her feet hit the floor. 

“He was harrassing my sister!” Alex defends herself yelling back at her. “You didn’t even do anything!”

“She literally pushed him down to the floor! She handled it! There was no need for you to get in a fight!” 

“It’s my sister Maggie! Mine! And this was your idea!”

“Oh come on—“

“What! It was! You thought bringing an 18 year old to a bar was a great idea—well look what happened!”

“Don’t you dare say this is my fault—“

“Guys! Stop! Please!” Kara shouts. And they both shut up at the same time, looking at Kara surprised. “I’m okay, Alex. And it wasn’t your fault, Maggie. I’m okay. Now, this is my graduation celebration and you guys have been weird all evening.”

“Sorry…” Maggie and Alex say at the same time. 

“I want to go home.” Kara says. “I had fun, but I’m done with today.” And Alex and Maggie nod at the same time. 

“We have to wait for the cops to go, though.” 

“I’ll just fly us to the car, it’s no big deal.” 

So she does. The streets are almost empty. They decide to have Maggie drive, just in case the police stops them. Plus, she’s sober now, after the fight. And the almost kiss. 

They drive in silence to Alex’s house. When they get there, Maggie hands Alex her keys back and heads directly to her car. 

“Hey.” Alex says before Maggie can get in the drivers seat. “Talk tomorrow?”

“Sure.” 

Neither of them can sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting somewhere aren't we? slowly but surely...   
> I think I'm going to be able to fit another fic before i go back to college soooo... you guys can start giving me prompts/ideas for another fic!


	11. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the conversation(s) everyone has been waiting for.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: psychological abuse by a parent at the end of this chapter.

Chapter 11

 

“Kiss me.” 

“Okay.” 

Maggie wakes up. 

She’s sweating. 

She checks her phone. It’s 11 a.m. She has five missed calls from Rachel. She ignores them. She has a text from Alex. 

“I love you.” She reads. It was sent six hours ago. In the middle of the night. She was awake. She read it then. It wasn’t a dream. Alex really texted her that. 

She doesn’t have to work today. She calls Rachel. 

“Princess woke up?” Rachel says answering the phone. 

“Yeah, um, rough night—what are you doing right now?”

“Packing. I have to go back to my parent’s house for the rest of the summer. I wanted to ask you to come help me but then I thought about it and—we wouldn’t get anything done, let’s be honest.” She chuckles. 

“Ha… yeah, you’re right… hey, are you free this evening, though? I kind of want to talk.” 

“Yeah, yeah sure, just come by whenever you want to, I leave at 7 or so.”

“Okay, perfect, I’ll go in a couple hours.” She hangs up. She sits on her bed. Thinks. Dials again.

“Yes?”

“Actually, can I—can I go now. It’s important.” She asks.

“Sure, sure.” Rachel says. She hangs up again. 

\--

“She told me she loves me.” Maggie says. 

They’re sitting on Rachel’s bed. Rachel is caressing Maggie’s hair and Maggie doesn’t know how she’s talking. She feels numb. She can’t feel Rachel’s fingers going through her hair or her light touches on her arms. She doesn’t even remember getting there. She can’t feel anything. 

“She told me she loved me with a text, after—after asking me to kiss her—“

“Did you?” 

“No—No, I couldn’t. I couldn’t do that to you—you—you broke up with Beltran for me I—“

“It’s okay.” Rachel says nodding, catching Maggie’s attention. “It’s okay.”

“But—“

“Ever since we started… this, you’ve always left the room because of her, not because my boyfriend was coming, not because I was asking you to—it was her. It’s Alex who you should be with.”

“She’s—I don’t know, like—what about Max?”

“She told you she would break it off, right?” And Maggie nods. “Then, you should trust her word.”

“What about—“

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” She smiles. “One last kiss?” 

Maggie nods, moving to get closer to her, she kisses her slowly, she kisses her sweetly, because it’s what she deserves, she deserves the best last kiss she can give her. 

“This might sound ridiculous but this is the first “official” break up I’ve ever gone through. Like… this felt real. What we had.” Maggie whispers, and Rachel chuckles at that. 

“We were a couple for like a day and a half—“

“You know what I mean.” She smiles. 

“Well, Maggie, I guess I’ll see you next semester?” Rachel asks standing up from the bed and going through her closet again to keep packing. 

“Yeah, hopefully. I still don’t have enough money to pay for my classes.”

“Financial aid?”

“Nope.”

“No scholarship?”

“There’s always someone better than me with volunteer hours or—or charity donations or whatever, I don’t know—“

“You’ll get it, and if not, just call me, okay?” Rachel asks turning to look at Maggie who also looks up from the floor. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, you can just give it back whenever, I trust you.” 

Maggie stands from the bed and approaches her to give her a huge hug. 

“Thank you.” She says against her hair. “For everything.”

“That’s what friends are for, Maggie. Get used to it.” She smiles. 

\--

“Hey.” Maggie says answering the phone. 

“Hey.” Alex says. 

“I know we need to talk, I’m—I’m on my way home right now.”

“Meet you there?”

“Sure, I think my dad is still at work.”

“Okay, see you there.” They hang up at the same time. 

Alex is in her sitting on the sofa, while Max is taking a shower. She gets up nervously paces around the room. This is it. This is the conversation that will change her life. She’s gay. She knows she’s gay. Everything is clear now. The mediocre sex with Max. The jealousy with Maggie’s girlfriend. All those “girl crushes” on random celebrities. She’s gay. She’s so gay. 

She picks up the keys and leaves a note telling Max she’ll be at Maggie’s. 

Maggie on the other hand, has to turn off the radio in her car. Alex. This platonic crush she’s had for over a year, could be happening. But what if it doesn’t work? What if Alex gets scared? What if one of them gets hurt? 

She gets home and goes to her room. She makes her bed, tries to tidy everything up as fast as she can, not because she needs to, but because she has to do something with her hands, otherwise she would go crazy. 

“I’m here.” She reads Alex’s text. She goes downstairs to open the door. 

Alex is wearing plaid with those tight, tight jeans that she loves on her. She loves everything on her. 

“Come in.” She says. They sit on the couch before Maggie stands up again. “Do you want anything to drink?” She asks. 

“Come on, Mags, don’t make this weird.” Alex says looking down at her hands. Maggie sighs and nods. She sits down next to her, leaving a little bit of space between them. 

“I don’t know how to not make this weird, Alex.” She says also looking down at her nails. Insecure. She doesn’t know what to say. Who is going to say it first? Who is going to make the change in their relationship? 

“Whatever—“ Alex begins, catching herself to take a breath. “Whatever happens, I don’t want to lose you.” She says. “As a friend.”

“Me either.” Maggie says. They let silence settle in for a few minutes. Both of them lost in their own minds. Knowing they need time to think this through. “I won’t tell anyone about Kara.” She decides to say to break the silence. 

“What?” Alex asks confused. 

“I won’t tell anyone. If anything happens between us. Our secrets—they stay secrets. If anything—bad, happens, I just want you to know—everything we’ve been through stays with me.” And Alex nods understanding. 

Silence settles in once again. Not awkward silence, but silence that both of them know they need. Maggie moves so she can relax against the couch with her feet not touching the floor, she pulls them in and hugs her own legs. Alex turns to face Maggie completely, with one leg folded on the couch and the other one on the floor. She looks at Maggie, who is looking at everything and anything. She then feels Alex’s gaze and looks back at her. And they stare. They stare at each other’s eyes. Both with a faint smile on their lips. Maggie blinks first letting a slight chuckle escape her lips. Alex smiles back. And Maggie is enamored. She rests her head on the couch and Alex gets closer to her. They stay on each other’s eyes. Alex gets closer and closer. When their lips are inches away from each other, Alex stops. She looks down at Maggie’s lips and then back at Maggie’s eyes. She’s asking for permission. Which Maggie grants by moving her head closer so their lips crash. 

Their lips crash softly, sweetly and innocently. And they both know right there and then, that it is their last first kiss. 

Maggie puts her feet down on the floor, grabbing Alex by the waist. The innocent kiss now converted into a full open mouthed kiss, she gently pushes Alex down on the couch. Alex responds immediately with a quiet moan. Maggie starts kissing her neck.

They are so into it that they don’t hear the front door opening. 

“Alex’s fiancé is here—!” George, Maggie’s dad, goes silent. And they freeze. Maggie can already feel the tears coming, from embarrassment, from sadness, from fear. She slowly gets off Alex, letting her fix her shirt. She can’t look directly into her fathers eyes. She crosses her arms in fear, looks down to the floor. She feels a hand touching her back, caressing her. 

Alex, with her hand on Maggie’s back, looks up to see Max, behind Maggie’s dad. 

“I came to tell you that we won the Fight for Science prize.” He says before turning around and leaving the same way he came in. 

“Get out of my house.” George says. “Both of you.”

“Dad—“

“I said, get out.” He says now pointing to the door. “And don’t come back.”

Maggie stands up first, followed by Alex. Maggie slowly steps closer to her dad. 

“I will be here tomorrow at 8 a.m to pick up my stuff.” She walks past him to the porch before looking back at him. “And fuck you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... The end is near. I really am feeling inspired by this story, there are some aspects in this that reflect on my real life.. and some others where I wish I had the balls to act on.
> 
> I hope you all are enjoying this as much as I am


	12. Wouldn't want it any other way

Chapter 12

 

She starts crying in Alex’s car. It’s a kind of sobbing she’s never experienced. Alex tries to hold her from the drivers seat, but Maggie pushes her away. They’re still in front of Maggie’s house. 

“Take me—take me to the dorms.” She finally says. Alex nods and starts the car as fast as she can. 

She won’t stop crying. It takes them twenty minutes to reach the college. It takes Maggie 5 seconds to get out of the car, leaving Alex with no instructions on what to do. Maggie runs, and she doesn’t look back. 

“Go.” She texts Alex. 

She gets to the room she has spent a lot of nights and afternoons at. Knocking on the door frantically. Rachel opens it and Maggie lounges for her. 

“What’s wrong?” She asks hugging her back. Rachel manages to close the door, taking Maggie to the bed for her to sit down, she kneels in front of her. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

“I—“ She tries to speak but words don’t come out. Her brain is going a hundred miles per hour. Her heart feels like it is going to explode at any moment. Tears won’t stop falling. She covers her face with her own hands. 

Rachel stands up and gets a bottle of water from the mini fridge, she sits down next to her running her hand up and down her back. 

“Drink.” She says. “You’re going to dehydrate yourself.”

Maggie sniffs and dries her nose with her own arms. She takes the bottle and gulps it down. 

“Breathe.” Rachel says. And Maggie tries to calm down. “Is it Alex?” Maggie shakes her head. “Then what is it?”

“I need a place—to stay tonight.” She says. 

“Okay, okay, you can stay here until the end of the month, they’re closing the college until summer semester starts.” Maggie nods at that. “Did your parents find out?” Maggie nods, sniffing. “And the kicked you out?” Maggie nods, shrugging. Rachel is left thinking. Thinking on how she could help Maggie. 

“Alex didn’t break up with him.” Maggie suddenly says, now more calm. 

“What?” 

“We—we kissed, but he was—“ She sighs, trying to collect her thought. “She lied to me.”

“Did she tell you that she broke up with him?”

“No—No, but, I thought she did, we—we were having this—intense conversation, I thought we were putting everything on the table and—“

“Maybe she did break up with him. You should go to her, talk to her, not me, you have her now.” Rachel says trying to make Maggie understand. “I’ll be here for whatever you want to but—this, you have to go to her for stuff like this. That’s how relationships work.” And Maggie nods taking her phone out.

“You’re right.” She says shaking her head. “I’m so—stupid.” She dials Alex’s phone. “Hey, are you still here?” She asks when Alex picks up. 

“Yes, right where you left me.” Alex says. 

“I’m coming.” And she hangs up. Maggie turns to Rachel who is already offering her the keys to the room. “Thank you.” She says taking them from her hand. 

“Stay in touch this summer, okay?” 

“Of course.” 

\--

Maggie walks across campus, she’s shaking, scared of everything that happened and everything that might happen. She sees Alex in the car, she’s talking on the phone. Alex signals her to come in. 

“—Max, I’m sorry, okay? You weren’t supposed to see that, you—“ He hangs up before Alex gets to finish her sentence. She sighs, puts down the phone and looks at Maggie. “He—He’s pretty mad.”

“I bet.” Maggie says scoffing. 

“Maggie.” Alex says to make Maggie look at her. “I broke up with him.”

“Just now or…?”

“This morning. Before calling you. I didn’t tell him why, that’s why he’s mad—”

“I love you.” Maggie says shaking her head turning to face her. “I don’t care. I don’t care anymore. I don’t care if I’m the mistress. I don’t care if you love him more than you love me. I don’t care.”She dries some tears off before looking up again to see Alex, who is looking at her with sadness in her face. It takes Alex a minute to say something.

“Maggie—“ Alex begins. “You deserve only the best. So I’m trying my best. Because right now, I really feel like I don’t deserve you, at all. And the fact that you’re willing to be a—a mistress? What is that? You’re no mistress. You—you should be taken care of, you should be loved, you—you should be… happy. You shouldn’t just conform to whatever comes at you. You deserve better, I—“

“You. I deserve you, Alex Danvers. I think you’re so beautiful—and so—so amazing. I don’t know how or why I got to cross paths with you but—you’re the best thing that has happened to me. Of that I’m sure.” 

Alex smiles, tears in her eyes, hand already on Maggie’s neck, pulling her closer to give another sweet, sweet kiss. 

“Can it be like this?” Alex says breaking the kiss. “Always? I want it to be like this.”

“Crying and full of drama?” Maggie asks chuckling.

“No.” She says letting out a small laugh. “With honesty. Being honest with each other.”

“Wouldn’t want it any other way.” Maggie says going for another kiss. 

 

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall. i wanna end it here. i know. it's not as epic as i wanted it to be. i just suddenly feel really uninspired i dont know why? anyway. maybe i'll add an epilogue or something another day but idk (any ideas?) :/ i wanna start another oneeeeeeee so yeah thank you all so much for reading you guys are the best. sorry i couldn't give you a better last chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Second fic! Yay! This first chapter is short, and probably all the chapters will be (sorry), but I'm really trying to work on my writing lol so idk. Quality over quantity, right? idk. Think of this as a pilot for a tv show lol don't forget to comment! Your opinions matter and help shape the story!


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